Rayzoon Technologies LLC

[Jae.Thomas]

Hi everyone!

I wrote a song back in 2009, and I still hear it in my head. I have made different versions of it - one that has a more jazzy/soul vibe, etc...

but I would like to really do the ROCK version of this.

The problem is, the original beat to me sounds really cheesy, not to mention there are other things in the song that sound far too... I don't know. It's cheesy to me.

Here's the more cringy example:

https://www.dropbox.com/s/4adtteia01v0su8/Blade002-album-001-clipwBFD.mp3?dl=0

it's not the worst thing in the world, but parts of it are just so UP and like BUSY it sounds almost like alt polka to me.

I need ideas for a better sequence for this - the song is written but the drums for the rock version really discourage me.

I would be re-creating the entire song. I am not sure I will be able to hit the high "C" in the Am version. I might go down to Gm with it, but high Bb won't be easy either.

Just the other day I hit high "B" and I don't know how. I wouldn't be doing this live, but it's fun to do it for an "album" version.

Anyway, any ideas would be great if someone wanted to collaborate with me on this. Perhaps a real drummer who might also be great w/jamstix. This would be non-paid (I have like one fiftieth of the gigs this year lol) but credited collab, even if it's just some basic idea.

I think the sound I'm looking for is maybe indie rock? post rock? I don't know, but what I picture is like almost a halftime beat but with a lot of energy. I don't want it to sound like My Chemical Romance and I feel like there are aspects of that kind of emo-rock going on here and it makes it cheesy for me. I don't mind MCR but that's not me.

I am going to make a few threads like this, I feel. I will try to keep it to a minimum but I just really want to get these songs done and out of here asap. I want to move on with my life. HAHA

[Azimuth]

The drum track performance doesn't sound bad to me Jae, I think it fits the feel of the song pretty well actually. The only section I would consider changing up is during the guitar solo. The drums just kind of sound like they're trying to hide in the background when they should be driving harder in my opinion. Really cool song, ballsy as hell.
If you want to upload a mix minus drums, I'll cobble something together for you.

[Jae.Thomas]

could I email you? I have stems available.

[Azimuth]

Sure thing Jae, or Dropbox will work too.

[Azimuth]

Hey Jae,

I just uploaded to Dropbox for you.